6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I need a beard to bite.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
