Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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