he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
