There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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