The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
