K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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