You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
