It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
