More tranny stories later!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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