No, you can still breathe under the balls.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Holy shit dude........stairs
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