we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
