Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
