Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
