My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
