Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he shaved USA in his pubs
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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