It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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