he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
