The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
