i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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