i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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