At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
