I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
