Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize