Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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