Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...