Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.