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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed

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• (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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• (585): View more from New York

  i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (909): View more from California

  and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall

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• (209): View more from California

  Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.

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• (716): View more from New York

  you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.

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• (661): View more from California

  Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist

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