I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.