Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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(303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3

Replies (2) Good night (1375) Bad night (610)
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(805): View more from California

who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->

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(805): who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big --> http://tfl.nu/8d2r

Replies (9) Good night (707) Bad night (2411)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.

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(336): If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/wdvp

Replies (27) Good night (3647) Bad night (652)
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(334): View more from Alabama

He had some BAD nuttage

(334): View more from Alabama

Nuttage?

(334): View more from Alabama

It's like cleavage......... but different

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(334): He had some BAD nuttage (334): Nuttage? (334): It's like cleavage......... but different http://tfl.nu/35mx

Replies (12) Good night (683) Bad night (2699)
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(863): View more from Florida

just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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(863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw

Replies (11) Good night (5035) Bad night (935)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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(401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3

Replies (11) Good night (3512) Bad night (1328)
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(512): View more from Texas

Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.

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(512): Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/xdkp

Replies (7) Good night (2686) Bad night (1363)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (998) Bad night (1803)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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(330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a

Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (1043)
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(+33): View more from France

I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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(+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971

Replies (4) Good night (1917) Bad night (839)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

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(812): I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/ubnw

Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (759)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.

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(702): Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state. http://tfl.nu/qc3a

Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (672)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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(414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f

Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (402)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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(870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7

Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (582)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.

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(905): Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/504d

Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (253)

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