That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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