My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
