This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
