Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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