he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
