Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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