Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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