maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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