so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A+ Viking dick
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize