remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
