sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When are your genitals available?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
