No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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