I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
