The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
