Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
