You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
