So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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