ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
