Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
