I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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