You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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