just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
