so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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