Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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