no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
