Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
