I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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