Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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