Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize