The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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