never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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