My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Floor bacon is actually really good
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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