He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize