Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
