My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
