I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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