There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
