i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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