we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This baby is an asshole
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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