Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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