just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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