Your dad touched me again.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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