so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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