M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
