im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
