fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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