we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
